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Sunday, November 30th, 2008

Subject:state secrets USA
Time:9:27 am.
Americans, it was criminally lax of me to allow Black Friday to come and go without submitting my official wishlist. My apologies to those of you who spent the entire day wandering through the mall, befuddled, trying to shop for my Christmas presents without my guidance! I hope you saved your receipts from Hickory Farms and Lids; this is the shit I really want for xmas.

Rubber squeaky sharks and squeaky ankylosauri.


Backpack with Hannah Montana or poor man's simulacrum thereof; Shadowcaster glider.


Stuffed horses and bears, XL-XXL.


NC-17 Wiggles book.


My First Hummer.


Pretty much anything from aisle 21.


If you're not American and you don't know what Black Friday is, I'm not telling you. It's embarrassing.
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